Tips for allies: Folks of color are not really looking for allies. Meaning those that will show up to marches and sing We Shall Overcome. Folks of color are looking for accomplices. Meaning those that are actively looking for signs of smoke and are willing to jump into the fire to put it out.
For example: Kid of color is suspended at your local school for the same thing a white child did and wasn't punished for. How would you know? Because you are actively looking for signs of smoke. You jump into the fire by showing up to the school outraged with the same lawyer on speaker phone that you would use if it were your child and demand to speak with the administration. The student's suspension is rescinded. You have just shown yourself to be an accomplice by putting this fire out.
Self-care for folks of color: Give yourself permission to take a break. We are engaged in this work from sun up to sun down. We are explaining, assimilating, acquiescing, and so much more on a daily basis hoping to change white folks. However, white folks have so much to learn, and taking one day off will not impact this work as significantly as one might think. Put your feet up, and let them figure it out for themselves.